Examining Our Performance.

The process of creating this performance has lead me down many research avenues, some that I was familiar with and some that I have never experienced before. While our performance was intended to explore the relationship between the feeder/gainer fetishes, I found that it actually examined a lot more than that.

It examined food and social convention, as well as food and each individuals relationship with it. It looked at the female body and perceptions of the female form within our westernised society. It explored greed and over indulgence at the risk of physical and mental health. However for me our perception of and indeed naivety about personal levels of control, and our accidental but overt feminist stance on the subject of food as a whole were the topics that stood out the most.

As an all female group who fit the same demographic, our performance explored our topic from a very niche view point. We therefore presented the piece from a very narrow perspective that complimented our thoughts and ideas. We explored our opinions of food as the primary opinion of food and the feeder/gainer phenomenon. This could be seen in the way the gainers dressed to represent the various ways in which we related ourselves to food and social perception. On top of this, in buying, preparing and presenting the food the  feeders cohered to the social stereotype of women who are “still wedded to the notion that “good” women are defined by a clean house and abundant home-cooked meals” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 9).

photo (5)

Photo by Lizzy Hayes and Lauren Watson, 2013

Avakian and Haber also state that in making the food women enjoy the “love, favors, good behavior and the power that comes from being needed” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 8). While in many feeder gainer relationships it is the man who takes on the role  of feeder for the woman, this statement can be assimilated to both genders. Which brings me to my next and final point.
How much would have changed had even one performer had been male? The answer is simple. Everything.

Works Cited

Allen, P., Sachs, C (2007) “Women and food chains: The gendered politics of food.” International Journal of Sociology of Food and Agriculture 15.1.

Haber, B., Avakian, A V (2006) “Feminist Food Studies: A Brief History.” In From Betty Crocker to Feminist Food Studies: Critical Perspectives on Women and Food, Arlene Avakian and Barbera Haber (eds.) Massachusetts: University of Massachusetts Press.

 

 

Sick to the Stomach.

The Performance

Having thought about it for weeks, and being nervous about it for days, I was surprised at how calm I felt just before the performance. I even found a small part of myself wishing that I could eat some of the food that I had so lovingly made for my gainer as I was setting it out on the table. I can safely say that my feelings toward the food were very much changed two hours later as it sat, mixed up, cold and congealed on the now less than attractively adorned table.

The performance started at 7 30pm on Wednesday the 11th of December, with the three gainers bound to their chairs with materials that related to their outfit. My feeder, Lauren, was tied by napkins. My self and the other two feeders stood beside our feeder, straight faced, plate in hand.

994973_10152070973875944_756418128_n

Photo by Darren Page, 2013

What was going on in my head was a far less calm image. What would I feed her first? Should it be sweet or savoury? Dry or sloppy? Should I use a spoon, a fork or my hands? Decision time! I chose curry, which was of course savoury and sloppy and I fed it to her with a fork. I imediatley felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation. Within seconds I had spilt curry down her dress and I wanted to clean it up. The fork hit her teeth and I wanted to apologise. I finished feeding her the plate of food and I felt compelled to ask her if she would like any more, or wanted anything else. I went to the food table and I put chocolate in a bowl and I fed it to her with my hands. I went back to the food table and I picked up pizza and crisps. Back and forth picking up different foods, savoury and sweet, what ever took my fancy. But I wanted so badly to adhere to the social conventions that I have been brought up to respect and conform to. I found myself agreeing with Mary Douglas when she states that “the consumption of food is a ritual activity” (Lupton, 1996, p.9), and I was altering that ritual. The simple act of mixing savoury and sweet foods instead of having them separate, in set portions of a planned meal seemed almost anarchic. I was neglecting the social structure that is in place to “create[s] order out of potential disorder” (Lupton, 1996, p. 9).

The Performance

Photo by Lizzy Hayes, 2013

The extent of the disorder stopped being an internal thought, and became the focus of our piece after one hour, when Abbi, one of the gainers was sick.  Fighting to keep my face expressionless as had previously been planned I found that the situation, (which we had considered as a possibility, not a likelyhood) was dealt with quickly and effectively, but it was still a situation out of my hands. It was then I realized that I had far less control than I thought I did. I had control over what I was wearing and what my gainer was eating. That was it. I did not have control over how she felt. I did not have control over how I felt. I did not have control over the audience and their reactions. Considering that I had been worried about exploiting my control, I felt naïve to have thought that I would have any more control than any one else in the room. Because even though the gainers were tied to a chair and being force fed food, it was not up to us, or them whether the food stayed down or not, because as Scheer suggests, “The body’s capacities to endure certain forms of experience are not incidental…but are curatorially and compositionally problematic…” (Scheer, 2012, p. 2). Abbi’s body had passed it’s capacity and rejected the food.
But as the saying goes, the show must go on! Well in fact, it didn’t have to go on at all. Abbi could have stopped eating. But even though she chose to keep eating, soon after, the performance was stopped earlier than scheduled due to ethical reasons.

Works Cited

Lupton, M (1996) Food, the Body and the Self. London: SAGE Publications Ltd.

Scheer, E (2012) Introduction. The end of spatiality or the meaning of duration. Performance Research 17.5.

A La Carte.

Mains

Homemade Double Cheese Lasagne
Homemade Double Cheese Macaroni and Cheese
Homemade Chicken Tikka Curry
Chips
Pilau Rice
Homemade Mashed Potato
Meat Feast Pizza
Sausage and Mash Ready Meal
Gravy

Deserts

Homemade Brownies
Homemade Chocolate Cake
Homemade Cup Cakes
Tea Cakes
Strawberry Jelly
Vanilla Custard
Strawberry Angel Delight
Jam Dohnuts
Lemon and Custard Dohnuts
Chocolate Fingers
Chocolate Bars
Chocolate Buttons-White and Milk
Chuppa-Chup Lollypops
Double Cream

Drinks

Orange Juice (from concentrate)
Pepsi Cola

The Performance

Photo by Lizzy Hayes, 2013

I Got The Power!

On Thursday we drew straws to decide which of us would be the feeders and which of us would be the eaters or gainers. The idea behind the drawing of the straws was control. We wanted who ever ended up eating to have had as little control over this decision as possible, to correlate with the feeder/gainer relationship in which the feeder has complete control over the gainers food intake.

1

Photo by Lauren Watson, 2013

Having said in a previous post that I was not particularly comfortable with the ‘gainer’ side of the relationship it was no big surprise how relieved I was to draw the long straw and become a feeder.

(LaurenWithTheDramaTattoo, 2013)

I do not expect our performance to be easy for anyone, in fact I expect it will push each and every member of our group mentally. For me I imagine the main challenge to be the control: will I become used to the level of control I have? Will I end up liking the control? Would it be wrong for me to like the control?

Each feeder then chose a “gainer” to feed during the performance. I chose Lauren Watson. From that moment on she was my gainer-the person I will have control of during the performance.

The next step for me as a feeder is deciding what food to buy and make for the gainers. With butter, cheese, chocolate and pleanty of carbohydrates in mind me, Kirsty T, and Jess made our way to Morrisons supermarket to buy our food. We decided to video record this experience, as well as the process of us making the food so that it could be played behind the performers on the day of the performance. The idea behind this was to show the audience the extent to which we, as feeders, had control over what they gainers were being fed. Shopping bags full, we left Morrisons, actually quite excited to cook our food!

P1010457

Photo by Tom Baines, 2013

Works Cited

(LaurenWithTheDramaTattoo (2013) Feeder Contemporary Experimental: Drawing Straws [Online Video] Available from http://youtu.be/mdqz0-Dl2IA [Accessed 9 December 2013].

The Disorder in Control- Gainers vs Anorexics.

Eating disorders are a part of many people’s lives. They are psychological disorders that affect the relationship individuals have with food and their own body image. According to online medical resources Anorexia-nervosa affects 1 in 20 teenagers in the UK, though teens are not the only sufferers of the illness. Symptoms of anorexia include starving oneself in order to lose weight and keep their weight as low as possible. One of the main symptoms that stand out for me is the body image distortion that sufferers tend to have. This causes the sufferer to perceive their body as different to how it actually looks; anorexics see themselves as fat or overweight when they are thin or even underweight, even though they can acknowledge others who are of a healthier size than themsevles to be “thin”.

When I studied psychology at A-level the module on eating disorders was an eye opener. It made me aware of how body image and our opinions of body image are altered and affected by many things. There are multiple theories about eating behaviour and eating disorders within the psychological and medical community. As I have mentioned briefly in other blog posts the most obvious cause of eating disorders stems from how “Contemporary culture is obsessed with bodies” (Di Benedetto, 2007, p. 127), as can be seen in the media on a daily basis. However, of the many theories associated with eating disorders the theory that sprang to my mind when we started looking into feeders and gainers were the psychodynamic theories. According to Hilde Bruch’s Psychodynamic theory, anorexics are engaged in a struggle for their own identity and are in conflict with their parents, especially their mothers for personal control. Bruch claimed that the origins of Anorexia can be found in early childhood where parents failed to respond to their child’s needs effectively. This leads to the child becoming confused about what its own internal needs really are, causing them to become over reliant on the mother or primary carer to tell them what they need and when. Bruch’s theory suggests that during adolescents the over reliant teen seeks to establish autonomy and find a way of having some control over their own life. A person may have limited control to what they look like, but they can have control over their weight and how thin they look, as only they can determin how much of what food they consume. Limiting the food they eat, sometimes to the point of starvation not only gives them control, but creates a visual representation of that control. It has also been suggested that over protective parents or “pushy” parents can also cause teens to take drastic measures to achieve autonomy. Interestingly a statement from a patient in a study on the causes of adolescent onset anorexia nervosa a supports this theory;

“I was the first child of very young parents that overprotected me” (Nilsson, 2008, p 128).

In the feeder/gainer relationship however the gainers appear happy to relinquish control over their body and allow another human being to have power over various aspects of their life, including the food they consume; the polar opposite of anorexics.

Another theory on anorexia that suggests that gainers have polar opposite mentalities to anorexics is Freud’s psychodynamic theory. Interestingly, though unsurprisingly, in Freudian psychology eating is a substitute for sexual behaviour. Freud suggested that refusal to eat can be interpreted as a means to repress sexuality. He stated that starvation was a means of a person retaining their child like body, both visually in that the “skinny” body looks childlike and therefore less sexually attractive, and biologically, in that in girls being underweight can cause Amenorrhoea (defined by the absence of periods for three of more months in girls who have already started menstruation) and could therefore be seen as prepubescent and therefore not sexually desirable. Gainers on the other hand seek to put on weight to make their bodies more attractive and in a way promote their sexuality. They state that having more fat on the body makes them feel more attractive and say that it makes them feel more comfortable or confident in themselves. I personally find it hard to believe that such a self destructive way of living could make anyone lead a happier life, yet the phenominon is not limited to a few individuals, there are many gainers out there who all claim the same thing.

While it is easy to argue that on a psychodynamic, non chemical level, the reasoning behind the act of starvation in anorexics and gorging in gainers are very much opposite it could also be argued that they are very much the same. The aim of both being to reshape and retrain their body to make themselves into what they perceive to be a more attractive figure.

 

 Works Cited

Brawner, L (2008) ‘Linda Montano, Anorexia nervosa and an art of hunger’, Women & Performance, 18, 2, pp. 127-132.

Di Benedetto, S (2007) Contemporary Live Art and Sensoral Perception. In: Sally Banes and Andre Lepecki (eds.) The Senses in Performance. London: Routledge.

Newton, L (2012) Anorexia Nervosa. [Online] Available from: http://www.patient.co.uk/health/anorexia-nervosa-leaflet# [Accessed 4 December 2013].

Nilsson, K, Abrahamsson, E, Torbiornsson, A, & Hägglöf, B (2007) ‘Causes of adolescent onset anorexia nervosa: patient perspectives’, Eating Disorders, 15, 2, pp. 125-133.

Skarderud, F (2009) ‘Bruch Revisited and Revised’, European Eating Disorders Review, 17, 2, pp. 83-88.