Category Archives: Performances

Examining Our Performance.

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The process of creating this performance has lead me down many research avenues, some that I was familiar with and some that I have never experienced before. While our performance was intended to explore the relationship between the feeder/gainer fetishes, I found that it actually examined a lot more than that.

It examined food and social convention, as well as food and each individuals relationship with it. It looked at the female body and perceptions of the female form within our westernised society. It explored greed and over indulgence at the risk of physical and mental health. However for me our perception of and indeed naivety about personal levels of control, and our accidental but overt feminist stance on the subject of food as a whole were the topics that stood out the most.

As an all female group who fit the same demographic, our performance explored our topic from a very niche view point. We therefore presented the piece from a very narrow perspective that complimented our thoughts and ideas. We explored our opinions of food as the primary opinion of food and the feeder/gainer phenomenon. This could be seen in the way the gainers dressed to represent the various ways in which we related ourselves to food and social perception. On top of this, in buying, preparing and presenting the food the  feeders cohered to the social stereotype of women who are “still wedded to the notion that “good” women are defined by a clean house and abundant home-cooked meals” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 9).

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Photo by Lizzy Hayes and Lauren Watson, 2013

Avakian and Haber also state that in making the food women enjoy the “love, favors, good behavior and the power that comes from being needed” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 8). While in many feeder gainer relationships it is the man who takes on the role  of feeder for the woman, this statement can be assimilated to both genders. Which brings me to my next and final point.
How much would have changed had even one performer had been male? The answer is simple. Everything.

Works Cited

Allen, P., Sachs, C (2007) “Women and food chains: The gendered politics of food.” International Journal of Sociology of Food and Agriculture 15.1.

Haber, B., Avakian, A V (2006) “Feminist Food Studies: A Brief History.” In From Betty Crocker to Feminist Food Studies: Critical Perspectives on Women and Food, Arlene Avakian and Barbera Haber (eds.) Massachusetts: University of Massachusetts Press.

 

 

Sick to the Stomach.

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The Performance

Having thought about it for weeks, and being nervous about it for days, I was surprised at how calm I felt just before the performance. I even found a small part of myself wishing that I could eat some of the food that I had so lovingly made for my gainer as I was setting it out on the table. I can safely say that my feelings toward the food were very much changed two hours later as it sat, mixed up, cold and congealed on the now less than attractively adorned table.

The performance started at 7 30pm on Wednesday the 11th of December, with the three gainers bound to their chairs with materials that related to their outfit. My feeder, Lauren, was tied by napkins. My self and the other two feeders stood beside our feeder, straight faced, plate in hand.

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Photo by Darren Page, 2013

What was going on in my head was a far less calm image. What would I feed her first? Should it be sweet or savoury? Dry or sloppy? Should I use a spoon, a fork or my hands? Decision time! I chose curry, which was of course savoury and sloppy and I fed it to her with a fork. I imediatley felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation. Within seconds I had spilt curry down her dress and I wanted to clean it up. The fork hit her teeth and I wanted to apologise. I finished feeding her the plate of food and I felt compelled to ask her if she would like any more, or wanted anything else. I went to the food table and I put chocolate in a bowl and I fed it to her with my hands. I went back to the food table and I picked up pizza and crisps. Back and forth picking up different foods, savoury and sweet, what ever took my fancy. But I wanted so badly to adhere to the social conventions that I have been brought up to respect and conform to. I found myself agreeing with Mary Douglas when she states that “the consumption of food is a ritual activity” (Lupton, 1996, p.9), and I was altering that ritual. The simple act of mixing savoury and sweet foods instead of having them separate, in set portions of a planned meal seemed almost anarchic. I was neglecting the social structure that is in place to “create[s] order out of potential disorder” (Lupton, 1996, p. 9).

The Performance

Photo by Lizzy Hayes, 2013

The extent of the disorder stopped being an internal thought, and became the focus of our piece after one hour, when Abbi, one of the gainers was sick.  Fighting to keep my face expressionless as had previously been planned I found that the situation, (which we had considered as a possibility, not a likelyhood) was dealt with quickly and effectively, but it was still a situation out of my hands. It was then I realized that I had far less control than I thought I did. I had control over what I was wearing and what my gainer was eating. That was it. I did not have control over how she felt. I did not have control over how I felt. I did not have control over the audience and their reactions. Considering that I had been worried about exploiting my control, I felt naïve to have thought that I would have any more control than any one else in the room. Because even though the gainers were tied to a chair and being force fed food, it was not up to us, or them whether the food stayed down or not, because as Scheer suggests, “The body’s capacities to endure certain forms of experience are not incidental…but are curatorially and compositionally problematic…” (Scheer, 2012, p. 2). Abbi’s body had passed it’s capacity and rejected the food.
But as the saying goes, the show must go on! Well in fact, it didn’t have to go on at all. Abbi could have stopped eating. But even though she chose to keep eating, soon after, the performance was stopped earlier than scheduled due to ethical reasons.

Works Cited

Lupton, M (1996) Food, the Body and the Self. London: SAGE Publications Ltd.

Scheer, E (2012) Introduction. The end of spatiality or the meaning of duration. Performance Research 17.5.

The Performance Ends Now.

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1 hour and 40 minutes.

From chicken tikka curry and rice, to pouring cream, chocolate, buns and lasagne, our performance was stopped after 1 hour and 40 minutes.

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(Photo credit: Darren Page, 11.12.13)

 When the performance was stopped, it came both as a shock and a relief. Although the two hours we aimed for were not fulfilled, I feel as though our performative task had been completed.

I should clarify that we did not stop our performance, but our lecturer did. And for this I am grateful. When “both the performer and the audience are vulnerable” (LaFrance 2013, p. 507), there is a duty of care for both parties, and I will openly admit that as Gainers we were very vulnerable, and not in a good place. Physically or mentally.

“Negligence involves conduct that falls below the standard of care that would be observed by a reasonable person and which subjects another to an unreasonable risk of harm. An act may be negligent if the actor should realize that it involves an unreasonable risk of subjecting another party to harm or emotional distress that is likely to cause illness or bodily harm” (LaFrance 2013, p. 539).

We pushed our bodies as far as we could without causing harm, and as far as our lecturers deemed ethical. The experimental task element behind our performance was completed, and although stopped, I believe it was successful; all six of us pushed our limits, while addressing our frame of Feederism.

Though commenting on Feederism, through the performance I realise that our piece addressed much more than the ‘feeder’ fetish. As six women, our piece contained sexual and social politics focussing on the female form and its relation to food within society. Perhaps it was naive of us to overtly focus on the fetish, as we are complete outsiders looking in on such a secretive and taboo sexual desire. However, the frame it provided us with (a one-on-one relationship of control), created a larger and further encompassing performance, leaving the audience with their own questions, conscience and ideas towards food, women and the two combined. We used our own bodies and limits for performance, however “when a body is prepared for the theatre, this is a specific instance, and operates within the context of the general process whereby a culture produces the body” (Sheperd 2006, p. 6), and because our bodies are not those of Gainers or Feeders, we are exploring our own bodies within the given frame, so therefore in our own culture.

Works cited
LaFrance, Mary (2013) ‘The Disappearing Fourth Wall: Law, Ethics, and Experimental Theatre’. Vanderbilt Journal of Entertainment and Technology Law, XV (3) Spring, pp. 507-582.
Sherperd, Simon (2006) Theatre, Body and Pleasure, New York: Routledge.

What have we gained through ‘Feeder’?

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Food will always be an obsession in human life so there is no reason why it shouldn’t be a part of performance and theatre too. As Di Benedetto states, “food as a component in theatrical entertainments has a long history…in an attempt to unpack the aesthetic uses of food by the futurists and the surrealists in the creation of meaning” (2010, p116). In the Middle Ages, food and entertainment went hand in hand, “food was a performance…Feasting and festivity were inextricably fused in medieval hospitality; the one did not exist without the other” (Cole in Di Benedetto, 2010, p116). This link between performance and food is clear even without noticing it. When entertaining guests, food is expected as an accompaniment, people go and enjoy food as a social occasion with loved ones. Our performance therefore becomes quite a contrast to many people’s perception of food, it exposes the greed, waste and overall negativity that food can also be associated with.

Our piece has become more thought provoking that what we initially anticipated. Our initial stimulus was the feeder fetish but the way in which we presented our piece resulted in a much more varied interpretation. It was a personal experience for each of us. As young female adults in a modern 21st century country, we all feel the need to look after our body and therefore our view on the over consumption of food is rather negative. As Seid suggests, “Everything, for women, boils down to body size” (1994, p7). However, we challenged our own thoughts and took part in a task which contradicts everything we believe is right regarding food and the body. As Coultate and Davies state, “Quite rightly, almost everyone has on opinion on the food they eat, or don’t eat. We have fads and fancies, compounded with views on what is ‘good for you'” (1994, p1). Interestingly of course, the feeder/gainer fetish is a way of life for some individuals who gain pleasure from the over consumption of fatty foods. This is something that we cannot begin to understand or relate to and certainly isn’t something I admire, particularly when it will have such a negative impact on their health. It seems that for many people, from those who are clinically obese to those suffering from disorders such as anorexia, food is allowed to consume their lives in such a way in which they no longer have control. After all, “food is essential to our survival, social ritual revolving around food are central parts of every culture on earth” (Di Benedetto, 2010, p114). The idea of control was exercised throughout our performance from the buying of the food, to the preparation and finally the feeding. In ‘Feeder’ we explored both personal and social reactions and feelings towards food, the female form in relation to food and in particular the gluttony and greed of many people in 1st world countries.

Works Cited

Coultate, Tom and Davies, Jill (1994) Food: The definitive guide Cambridge: The Royal Society of Chemistry

Di Benedetto, Stephen (2010) The Provocation of the Senses in Contemporary Theatre UK:Routledge

Fallon, P., Katzman, M., and Wooley, S. (eds.) (1994) Feminist Perspectives on eating disorders. USA: The Guilford Press

Force Fed Till Sick

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The aim of ‘Feeder’ was to be a task based performance where 3 feeders would feed 3 gainers for a durational time of 2 hours. This is precisely what happened on Wednesday 11th December at 7:30pm – though I shall not forget to mention we were stopped at 1 hour 40 minutes for ethical reasons.

photo      (Staging of Performance. Taken by Abigail Dawson: 11.12.13)

Even though the outcome of the task was so unpredictable we all knew how much of a challenge it was going to be. What a challenge it was. The 3 gainers were fed calorific food such as cheesy pasta, cake, chicken korma and lasagne. It took approximately 1 hour until the first gainer vomited – me. From a gainer’s point of view, the task appeared relatively easy at the beginning for the first 20 minutes. The food was fairly warm and enjoyable, no struggle eating the forkfuls just yet. All the different foods were being mixed, and at first this seemed like a brilliant idea as each food was a different taste and you weren’t going to get bored of it. Then as time went on those foods were being mixed inside the stomach, and with the mix of acidic orange juice and full fat Pepsi, the stomach started to churn and consequently there was a battle with our bodies to keep that food inside the stomach. It was no longer an easy task, and the food no longer appeared appetising to us. The forks filled with food would stay in front of our 3 faces until we were able to eat it. Because the forks were kept in front of us, there was a feeling of pressure and need to eat, like we had to finish everything we were given, something that I was taught when younger otherwise I was not allowed to leave the table. There was complete silence other than the sound of us eating and the noise of the feeders clattering the serving spoons, serving up more food. When we did feel sick there was no real way of communicating with our feeder, maybe a look of plead, but we couldn’t talk. The feeders had all the control, while we were tied to our chairs so we didn’t even have the use of our arms. The feeders had to be so in control that they could tell when we were going to be sick, maybe by the look on our faces, they then went to get a sick bag and placed it in front of us – just like the fork – until we were sick. Unfortunately for me, this happened and I vomited. My feeder then proceeded to serve more food on to a plate and carry on feeding me – which is why our performance was stopped. Now it must be noted that all 3 of us gainers could has refused to eat, the fork would have just stayed there in front of us, but we were able to keep our mouths shut. The pressure we felt, especially in front of an audience kept us eating, we were in no mind set to think of our own safety and when to stop, so someone else had to do it for us. Something we were all grateful for. Normally you’d think that “the act of swallowing is voluntary” (Fisher and Bender 1979, p. 93), however under such pressure in a public performance it feels like that power is taken away from you and you have no choice but to swallow what is in your mouth, whether you feel like it is going to make you vomit or not.

Here are two video blogs I made on the day of ‘Feeder’ to show how I was feeling, one before the performance and one after:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4D3JyKpzAc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgCgpuiiUUk

(Abigail Dawson, 2013)

This performance was so much more than showing the feeder/gainer relationship though. It was very personal to each of us, and how we all view food and our bodies. For a 20 year old woman living in a western society in the twenty first century, there is a pressure to keep our bodies looking good. We all love eating food, but we make sure we eat the right things so we don’t put weight on. This feeder fetish to us appears very confusing, a lifestyle none of us can relate to as we don’t personally believe that the bigger we get in size the sexier and more comfortable we feel. I certainly don’t believe that anyone that large could be happy with themselves, especially if they are at a size where they are immobile.  Through this lifestyle, they appear to learn that if they are to be loved (the gainers) – and this is what they seek for the most in life – they must eat/be fed. Their daily life is not about nutrition and keeping their body healthy, as they certainly do not eat the right foods. As stated in The Value of Food, “some foods are not essential for the functioning of the body but we do enjoy eating them” (Fisher and Bender 1979, p. 31), this fetish is about pleasure and gratification so the only foods that are consumed are those which satisfy.

“Rituals…help people deal with difficult transitions, ambivalent relationships, hierarchies, and desires that trouble, exceed, or violate the norms of daily life” (Schechner 2002, p. 52)

Looking back to earlier readings and blog posts, we kept to the notion of rituals. The act of eating is a daily ritual, something we do since we are born. We put this ritual to play in performance, it “gives people a chance to temporarily experience the taboo, the excessive, and the risky” (Schechner 2002, p. 52) as a group we were able to experience the fetish momentarily, not sexually, but what it would be like to put in the roles in the feeder relationship. Feeding and being fed is ritual linked to a parent and child relationship – one that is created from a very early age. The feeder and gainer take these roles on. It was our aim to explore this daily ritual – eating – delve into our own eating habbits, our personal relationship to food, and how it changes for those involved in such a fetish.

Work Cited

Abigail Dawson (2013) Vlog 1 (before) [Online Video] Available from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4D3JyKpzAc [Accessed 13 December 2013]

Abigail Dawson (2013) Vlog 2 (after) [Online Video] Available from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgCgpuiiUUk [Accessed 13 December 2013]

Fisher, P. and Bender, A. (1979) The Value of Food (3rd Ed.), Oxford: Oxford University Press

Schechner, R. (2002) Performance Studies: an Introduction (2nd Ed.), London and New York: Routledge