It’s all over.

After becoming a ‘gainer’ for the piece I can safely say it was one of the most difficult tasks I have ever completed. Not only was the quantity hard to deal with, but the mixture of food and having no control over what you were being given was certainly challenging. One member was sick, which we pre-empted and the feeding element was mentally challenging for those involved. This fetish is certainly complicated psychologically and something we will never fully be able to understand.

‘Before strictly human relations are established, certain relations have already been determined. They are taken from whatever nature may offer as supports, supports that are arranged in themes of opposition. Nature provides – I must use the word – signifiers, and these signifiers organise human relations’ (Lacan, 1977)

We formed relations as ‘feeders’ and ‘gainers’; however it was not a pleasurable bond. It was something we had to endure. We managed to last 1hr 40 minutes with the piece, and it seems we tested more than just the feeder/gainer relationship. We also tested ourselves physically and mentally, the sense of control and the audience.

photo (3)

                          (‘The Set and Film’ Taken by: Kirsty Jakins 11.12.13)

Works Cited

Lacan, J. (1977) The Four Fundamental Concepts of Psycho-Analysis. London: The Hogarth Press Ltd.

And for dessert…

Our final performance: three feeders, three gainers and two hours to eat as much as individually possible. 11th December 2013

994973_10152070973875944_756418128_n

The performance: Taken by Darren Page 11/12/13

Due to the result of the drawing of straws, for the performance I was given the role of feeder, much to my relief. In the lead up to the performance we filmed various sequences of the three feeders in a supermarket buying the food which would be consumed and consequently the cooking and preparation.

 

1474535_10152080284025944_467705472_n 1476555_10152080280165944_589318224_n

Preparation of food: Taken by Kirsty Taylor 10/12/13

It was important for this footage to be part of our performance so the audience could see our process and how the food had got to the table. We set up our performance space as it was for our work in progress with the addition of lighting and video footage set behind the gainers. This meant they could not see what had been put into the food they were about to consume reflecting the gainer/feeder fetish in which the feeder could be in control of what went into the food they can eat. The control of the feeders continued as we tied our gainer to the chair using an item associated with the outfit they are wearing. My gainer, Abbi, wore gym clothing and so she was tied to the chair using socks.

1471782_10152070974025944_877672600_n

Gainer and feeder: Taken by Jess Jarvis 11/12/13

After we had laid the table and reheated all the hot food our performance could begin. The hot food added an important sense to the performance and allowed the audience to have some direct connection to the piece, the sense of smell, “Smell is said to be the most direct route to memory, emotions, mate choice and the immune system” (Di Benedetto, 2010, p93). By placing the food in close proximity to the audience, not only could they see exactly what was being eaten but can experience the food through smells thereby creating thoughts and feelings as Di Benedetto suggests, “Taste, like smell, can evoke memories that are laden with emotional qualities” (2010, p114). Consequently each audience member can create an individual personal response.

1459991_10152070974120944_152613380_n

Display of food: Taken by Kirsty Taylor 11/12/13

To heighten the control we were aiming for, the three feeders held a neutral facial expression whilst the gainers reacted naturally to the task they were completing which was received positively by the audience as they were real, honest reactions. Because the performance was of a nature which couldn’t be rehearsed, it was a task trying to keep a straight face whilst deciding what food I should feed to Abbi. I was tentative at first deciding how much to put on the plate and what combination of food I should use, but gradually I became more confident and sure of what to do. It also became more clear which food my gainer preferred over others.  As the performance went on, it became clear it was going to be a much harder task than anticipated. The physical struggle of the gainers and the mental guilt of the feeders increased dramatically and reached a climax when Abbi had to be sick. This was a shock for us all; although sick bags were in place we never expected they would be used as we didn’t think it would get to that point. I tried my hardest to remain in control of the situation despite the tidal wave of emotions; I felt panicky, guilty and full of concern yet still had the overbearing apprehension of keeping the performance going and completing my task as feeder. Although we never focused on the audience and made a deliberate choice not to make eye contact, it was at that point some members of the audience had to leave, clearly uncomfortable with what had just happened. Unexpectedly, our performance was cut short and stopped forty-five minutes before the expected finish.

Although it was not planned, we were all relieved the performance was over. We were all exhausted; we had pushed our bodies to the limits of what we could have handled either mentally or physically. The performance may not have ended how we anticipated, but we were all proud of the effort we had put into both the process and final piece.

Works Cited

Di Benedetto, Stephen (2010) The Provocation of the Senses in Contemporary Theatre UK:Routledge

I Got The Power!

On Thursday we drew straws to decide which of us would be the feeders and which of us would be the eaters or gainers. The idea behind the drawing of the straws was control. We wanted who ever ended up eating to have had as little control over this decision as possible, to correlate with the feeder/gainer relationship in which the feeder has complete control over the gainers food intake.

1

Photo by Lauren Watson, 2013

Having said in a previous post that I was not particularly comfortable with the ‘gainer’ side of the relationship it was no big surprise how relieved I was to draw the long straw and become a feeder.

(LaurenWithTheDramaTattoo, 2013)

I do not expect our performance to be easy for anyone, in fact I expect it will push each and every member of our group mentally. For me I imagine the main challenge to be the control: will I become used to the level of control I have? Will I end up liking the control? Would it be wrong for me to like the control?

Each feeder then chose a “gainer” to feed during the performance. I chose Lauren Watson. From that moment on she was my gainer-the person I will have control of during the performance.

The next step for me as a feeder is deciding what food to buy and make for the gainers. With butter, cheese, chocolate and pleanty of carbohydrates in mind me, Kirsty T, and Jess made our way to Morrisons supermarket to buy our food. We decided to video record this experience, as well as the process of us making the food so that it could be played behind the performers on the day of the performance. The idea behind this was to show the audience the extent to which we, as feeders, had control over what they gainers were being fed. Shopping bags full, we left Morrisons, actually quite excited to cook our food!

P1010457

Photo by Tom Baines, 2013

Works Cited

(LaurenWithTheDramaTattoo (2013) Feeder Contemporary Experimental: Drawing Straws [Online Video] Available from http://youtu.be/mdqz0-Dl2IA [Accessed 9 December 2013].

One Word: Fetish

Feeder Fetish: What is it? Who has it? Where does it come from? What’s the difference in liking food or becoming an obsession? Where’s the transition?  These questions are being explored through on going research and allowing me to create my own opinion on the matter.

Fetishes is something that I am not personally come across before, neither am I obsessed with anything for it to become a sexual desire of mine. This experiment is helping me understand the urgencies in which some people have with food. So what does the word fetish mean? You may get a different response to this question depending who you ask this to. However the dictionary states:-

a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body,  (Oxford University Press,2013)

With recent documentation from Channel 4, Big Fat Fetish in May 2012, which was an documentation on food fetish’s discussing their relationship with foods. Many people questioned their sexual desire towards food and is this seen as ‘normal?’ However this is something in which they saw as ‘normal’ and the fetish was a necessary sexual desire for them.  But do we know what the word ‘normal’ really means? Who makes the decision to define what normal is? This could lead into a debate of is the word fetish valid? The next step is to record a conversation between us and discuss the relevance of fetishes in todays context and how we connect differently to objects not necessary in a sexual desire but emotionally. When I first heard about Food fetish’s I automatically judged, I saw it as something weird, strange and not something I would ever understand, but through this process and research I am coming to a understanding everyone has different relationships with food.

Work Cited

Oxford University Press (2013) Fetish. [Online] Available from: http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/fetish [Accessed 4/12/13]

 

Pulled! The Short Straw.

As of today, I am Lizzy’s Gainer, and she is my Feeder.

6 1
Photo Credit: Lizzy Hayes and Lauren Watson, 5.12.13

If I said I was looking forward to this role within the performance, I would be lying. After our work-in-progress showing, the reality and difficultly of this task dawned on me. I am going to have to eat for 2 hours.

One of the scariest and daunting aspects of this performance is that it is a “relationship of domination, control and dependency” (Mateus 2008, p. s184), completely controlled by my Feeder, Lizzy. The quantity of food is, and will remain unknown to me until the performance. All the control is now handed over to the Feeders within the group. I like food, and I like to eat to remain healthy. Usually with the often small binge on junk food. And this is fine, I don’t mind if I over indulge one day, because I am in control. know how much I am eating, what of, and when I’ll stop. So, for this control to be passed to another is terrifying. However, I don’t believe that this role is going to be harder than the role of Feeder. Personally, I would hate to have that much control over someone else, and to remain in role throughout the two hours. The possibility of the Gainer gagging, crying or being sick is something which I would struggle to handle whilst remaining impartial to it.

When left “[un]marked, the rituals of everyday life can be intimate or even secret” (Schechner 2013, p. 52), but with the frame and context of the Feeder fetish, the ritual of food and feeding becomes unrelenting. The ritual when repeated becomes exhausting, and resented by both parties. Although this claims not to be the case with actual Feeder/Gainer relationships, I am worried that my relationship and own rituals towards food will be tainted or altered by this experience.

Works cited
Mateus, M.A,  C.S Silva, O. Neves, J. Redondo (2008) ‘Feeders: Eating or sexual disorder?’, European Psychiatry, XXIII (2) April, pp. s184-185.
Schechner, Richard (2002[2013]) Performance Studies: An Introduction, New York: Routledge.