Category Archives: Tasks

Examining Our Performance.

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The process of creating this performance has lead me down many research avenues, some that I was familiar with and some that I have never experienced before. While our performance was intended to explore the relationship between the feeder/gainer fetishes, I found that it actually examined a lot more than that.

It examined food and social convention, as well as food and each individuals relationship with it. It looked at the female body and perceptions of the female form within our westernised society. It explored greed and over indulgence at the risk of physical and mental health. However for me our perception of and indeed naivety about personal levels of control, and our accidental but overt feminist stance on the subject of food as a whole were the topics that stood out the most.

As an all female group who fit the same demographic, our performance explored our topic from a very niche view point. We therefore presented the piece from a very narrow perspective that complimented our thoughts and ideas. We explored our opinions of food as the primary opinion of food and the feeder/gainer phenomenon. This could be seen in the way the gainers dressed to represent the various ways in which we related ourselves to food and social perception. On top of this, in buying, preparing and presenting the food the  feeders cohered to the social stereotype of women who are “still wedded to the notion that “good” women are defined by a clean house and abundant home-cooked meals” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 9).

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Photo by Lizzy Hayes and Lauren Watson, 2013

Avakian and Haber also state that in making the food women enjoy the “love, favors, good behavior and the power that comes from being needed” (Avakian and Haber, 2006, p. 8). While in many feeder gainer relationships it is the man who takes on the role  of feeder for the woman, this statement can be assimilated to both genders. Which brings me to my next and final point.
How much would have changed had even one performer had been male? The answer is simple. Everything.

Works Cited

Allen, P., Sachs, C (2007) “Women and food chains: The gendered politics of food.” International Journal of Sociology of Food and Agriculture 15.1.

Haber, B., Avakian, A V (2006) “Feminist Food Studies: A Brief History.” In From Betty Crocker to Feminist Food Studies: Critical Perspectives on Women and Food, Arlene Avakian and Barbera Haber (eds.) Massachusetts: University of Massachusetts Press.

 

 

Sick to the Stomach.

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The Performance

Having thought about it for weeks, and being nervous about it for days, I was surprised at how calm I felt just before the performance. I even found a small part of myself wishing that I could eat some of the food that I had so lovingly made for my gainer as I was setting it out on the table. I can safely say that my feelings toward the food were very much changed two hours later as it sat, mixed up, cold and congealed on the now less than attractively adorned table.

The performance started at 7 30pm on Wednesday the 11th of December, with the three gainers bound to their chairs with materials that related to their outfit. My feeder, Lauren, was tied by napkins. My self and the other two feeders stood beside our feeder, straight faced, plate in hand.

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Photo by Darren Page, 2013

What was going on in my head was a far less calm image. What would I feed her first? Should it be sweet or savoury? Dry or sloppy? Should I use a spoon, a fork or my hands? Decision time! I chose curry, which was of course savoury and sloppy and I fed it to her with a fork. I imediatley felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation. Within seconds I had spilt curry down her dress and I wanted to clean it up. The fork hit her teeth and I wanted to apologise. I finished feeding her the plate of food and I felt compelled to ask her if she would like any more, or wanted anything else. I went to the food table and I put chocolate in a bowl and I fed it to her with my hands. I went back to the food table and I picked up pizza and crisps. Back and forth picking up different foods, savoury and sweet, what ever took my fancy. But I wanted so badly to adhere to the social conventions that I have been brought up to respect and conform to. I found myself agreeing with Mary Douglas when she states that “the consumption of food is a ritual activity” (Lupton, 1996, p.9), and I was altering that ritual. The simple act of mixing savoury and sweet foods instead of having them separate, in set portions of a planned meal seemed almost anarchic. I was neglecting the social structure that is in place to “create[s] order out of potential disorder” (Lupton, 1996, p. 9).

The Performance

Photo by Lizzy Hayes, 2013

The extent of the disorder stopped being an internal thought, and became the focus of our piece after one hour, when Abbi, one of the gainers was sick.  Fighting to keep my face expressionless as had previously been planned I found that the situation, (which we had considered as a possibility, not a likelyhood) was dealt with quickly and effectively, but it was still a situation out of my hands. It was then I realized that I had far less control than I thought I did. I had control over what I was wearing and what my gainer was eating. That was it. I did not have control over how she felt. I did not have control over how I felt. I did not have control over the audience and their reactions. Considering that I had been worried about exploiting my control, I felt naïve to have thought that I would have any more control than any one else in the room. Because even though the gainers were tied to a chair and being force fed food, it was not up to us, or them whether the food stayed down or not, because as Scheer suggests, “The body’s capacities to endure certain forms of experience are not incidental…but are curatorially and compositionally problematic…” (Scheer, 2012, p. 2). Abbi’s body had passed it’s capacity and rejected the food.
But as the saying goes, the show must go on! Well in fact, it didn’t have to go on at all. Abbi could have stopped eating. But even though she chose to keep eating, soon after, the performance was stopped earlier than scheduled due to ethical reasons.

Works Cited

Lupton, M (1996) Food, the Body and the Self. London: SAGE Publications Ltd.

Scheer, E (2012) Introduction. The end of spatiality or the meaning of duration. Performance Research 17.5.

The Performance Ends Now.

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1 hour and 40 minutes.

From chicken tikka curry and rice, to pouring cream, chocolate, buns and lasagne, our performance was stopped after 1 hour and 40 minutes.

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(Photo credit: Darren Page, 11.12.13)

 When the performance was stopped, it came both as a shock and a relief. Although the two hours we aimed for were not fulfilled, I feel as though our performative task had been completed.

I should clarify that we did not stop our performance, but our lecturer did. And for this I am grateful. When “both the performer and the audience are vulnerable” (LaFrance 2013, p. 507), there is a duty of care for both parties, and I will openly admit that as Gainers we were very vulnerable, and not in a good place. Physically or mentally.

“Negligence involves conduct that falls below the standard of care that would be observed by a reasonable person and which subjects another to an unreasonable risk of harm. An act may be negligent if the actor should realize that it involves an unreasonable risk of subjecting another party to harm or emotional distress that is likely to cause illness or bodily harm” (LaFrance 2013, p. 539).

We pushed our bodies as far as we could without causing harm, and as far as our lecturers deemed ethical. The experimental task element behind our performance was completed, and although stopped, I believe it was successful; all six of us pushed our limits, while addressing our frame of Feederism.

Though commenting on Feederism, through the performance I realise that our piece addressed much more than the ‘feeder’ fetish. As six women, our piece contained sexual and social politics focussing on the female form and its relation to food within society. Perhaps it was naive of us to overtly focus on the fetish, as we are complete outsiders looking in on such a secretive and taboo sexual desire. However, the frame it provided us with (a one-on-one relationship of control), created a larger and further encompassing performance, leaving the audience with their own questions, conscience and ideas towards food, women and the two combined. We used our own bodies and limits for performance, however “when a body is prepared for the theatre, this is a specific instance, and operates within the context of the general process whereby a culture produces the body” (Sheperd 2006, p. 6), and because our bodies are not those of Gainers or Feeders, we are exploring our own bodies within the given frame, so therefore in our own culture.

Works cited
LaFrance, Mary (2013) ‘The Disappearing Fourth Wall: Law, Ethics, and Experimental Theatre’. Vanderbilt Journal of Entertainment and Technology Law, XV (3) Spring, pp. 507-582.
Sherperd, Simon (2006) Theatre, Body and Pleasure, New York: Routledge.

A La Carte.

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Mains

Homemade Double Cheese Lasagne
Homemade Double Cheese Macaroni and Cheese
Homemade Chicken Tikka Curry
Chips
Pilau Rice
Homemade Mashed Potato
Meat Feast Pizza
Sausage and Mash Ready Meal
Gravy

Deserts

Homemade Brownies
Homemade Chocolate Cake
Homemade Cup Cakes
Tea Cakes
Strawberry Jelly
Vanilla Custard
Strawberry Angel Delight
Jam Dohnuts
Lemon and Custard Dohnuts
Chocolate Fingers
Chocolate Bars
Chocolate Buttons-White and Milk
Chuppa-Chup Lollypops
Double Cream

Drinks

Orange Juice (from concentrate)
Pepsi Cola

The Performance

Photo by Lizzy Hayes, 2013

Force Feeding Relationships…In A Babydoll.

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For our work-in-progress session, we performed a live experiment. Primarily, this was to gage the reaction and reception from the audience, allowing us to alter and change variations within our experiment as was needed. So this experience would be as close to our final piece as possible, and to give an authentic feel to both us as performers and the audience, we drew straws the day before to see who would take which position; the Feeder, or the Gainer. (I use the term Gainer here loosely. We are not eating to gain weight, or for either party to receive sexual pleasure from the act of feeding or being fed. In our experiment, I use the term simply to define the two separate roles).

Once we had drawn straws, and roles were decided, we were able to decide on costume. Our intention of dressing differently was to see which pairing of the Feeder and Gainer went well together; looked more aesthetically pleasing, and whether or not these costumes affected how the audience viewed the piece.

(Experiment in progress: Images by Jakins, Kirsty and Lauren Watson, 22.11.13)

Typically, the Feeder/Gainer relationship is sexual, and although as a group we do not have that sexual attraction or arousal by the concept, we still chose to represented the sexual side of the fetish to see the reactions of our audience. “Theatre is, and has always been, a place which exhibits what a human body is, what it does, what it is capable of” (Sheperd 2006, p. 1), and our experiments embody this idea of the theatre. This experiment is primarily about us exploring our own limitations and relationship towards food, and in doing so our “live performance often does involve the senses in ways that transgress the boundaries of the visually iconic and of the linguistically and musically sonic” (Banes and Lepecki 2007, p. 3). During our short experiment, the Gainers repeatedly gagged, and struggled with the food presented to them. These reactions transgressed those boundaries, not only expected of a performance, but also blurred those of  the private/personal. To gag or be sick is usually a very personal act, and usually brought on by illness. So to show this reaction in public, and from being self-induced by consumption created an entirely new atmosphere and piece for the audience. And because “audience members bring their whole bodies with them into the auditorium, not just their eyes “Ridout 2009, p. 18). their actions and reactions to our physical reactions will be as vital to the experiment as the participants themselves.

(Experiment in progress: Image by Lauren Watson, 22.11.13)

This experiment and our final piece will “reveal histories – they propose practices, privilege materials, mirror social conditions, and implement techniques” (Banes and Lepecki 2007, p. 2). As a UK size 12, weighing 10st 8lb, I am very conscious about my size and weight, more than often feeling uncomfortable in my own skin due to ‘ideals’ on how I should look, and our experiment is causing all of us to look at ourselves and our relation to food in a different light. Our performance shines a light on the often taboo area of ‘Feederism’, a social condition which isn’t highlighted or publicly talked about, and is only really addressed through documentaries. Although we aren’t Feeders and Gainers, we are openly exploring our own boundaries with food. According to Richard Schechner, “performances that insist on sharing experiences with partakers and participants; works that try to evoke both terror and celebration. Such performances are often very personal even as they are no longer private” (2007, p. 25), and our experiment does just this. A marvel at the food we create, and if not a terror in the audience, a horror at what we are attempting to complete.

Works Cited
Banes, Sally, Andre Lepecki (2007) ‘Introduction’ in The Senses in Performance, ed. Sally Banes and Andre Lepecki, Oxon: Routledge, pp. 1-7.
Ridout, Nicholas (2009) Theatre & Ethics, London: Palgrave Macmillan.
Schechner, Richard (2007) ‘Rasaesthetics’ in The Senses in Performance, ed. Sally Banes and Andre Lepecki, Oxon: Routledge, pp. 10-28.
Sheperd, Simon (2006) Theatre, Body and Pleasure, New York: Routledge.